by Rian Haswanda
I had a patient come in today for her 1 month telephones her 1-pound-a-day weight loss plans. She lost 20 pounds in 20 days! Then gained 12 pounds back in 10 days.
What happened?
She explains, "Well my mom came over and cooked for me for a week as she usually does on vacation. Then there was this birthday party and I couldn't resist the food."
To start with, Mom would likely understand if you told her why you were losing weight. When you weigh 251 pounds and want to get down to 130 to get at ideal body weight, I hope your own mother would understand if you told her you were on this revolutionary new diet that your doctor put you on for 1 pound a day weight loss so you were limited to 5 bites of whatever she prepared. Secondly, there are going to be parties, Fourths of July, Halloweens, and Birthdays. You name the month; there are 1-5 celebrations you could name coming up. You will need to continue with strict dieting habits during those times too.
The most disappointing thing to her was she lost 20 pounds and gained it back. But when I asked her to explain any reasons why she may have sabotaged her own success she said, "It's because nobody noticed."
That is an explanation I've heard from the multitude of disappointed patients I've had that lost weight successfully, either through my rapid weight loss hypnosis plan or through surgical bypass or lap bands. The people shed the excess weight, but suddenly people aren't treating them any differently or even noticing. 20 pounds of weight loss and not even one compliment can make a number of people quit. I had one client say, "I lost 200 pounds and I haven't had a date yet;" and another that said, "I lost all this weight and my husband still hasn't had sex with me;" and another who said, "After losing 150 pounds you'd think my boss would give me a raise."
Many of these clients lost weight and were successful and should be proud. But they weren't satisfied internally with themselves! It's like hitting a grand slam home run to win the World Series, but being disappointed because it went to left field instead of where you wanted it to go, right field. When you define success incorrectly, you will think you have failed when you've got really succeeded! Every one of these people based their success on if another person acted a certain way INSTEAD OF THEIR Diet and lifestyle. HEALTHIER BODY AND SUCCESS IN ACCOMPLISHING A GOAL! Another person or population group was defined as the source of approval or disapproval in defining their success.
But here's what must be said more importantly. You ought to be the source of your satisfaction and compliments. You are carrying out this for YOURSELF. You aren't LOSING WEIGHT FOR ANYONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF. Not your boyfriend or girlfriend, not your spouse, not your kids, not your dog, not the junior woman's league, the boss, etc. THIS WEIGHT LOSS IS FOR only you ALONE. And when you succeed, you ought to be satisfied by yourself and for yourself!
This is known as a "Re frame" in Neurolinguistic programming (NLP), an approach to changing your view found on earth when your view is skewed. If you're the kind of person that depends on other people's opinions to form your own opinion of yourself, you may well be putting too much value on people who don't deserve it. The most valuable opinion about your self is YOUR OWN.
What happens when we rely on others' opinions to boost ourselves up? Many times we don't get anything back as this client noticed. Sometimes we pick the wrong people. And sometimes those people's opinions aren't worth a crap. When we value other people's opinions higher than our own, we put them above and ahead of ourselves on a pedestal to find information about too. When this client lost 20 pounds, she should have stepped up on that pedestal herself and smiled! Instead she was waiting for others to achieve that for her. A bad compass or frame because, as we know, some people are more geared for knocking you off that pedestal, whatever success you've had.
In weight loss practice, a good assistant/physician/hypnotherapist can ensure that they are there to coach you through these incorrect frames that sabotage your weight loss completely! Hypnosis, NLP, EFT are all tools that I use to achieve this and will help you eliminate your brain's subconscious barriers to success. Sometimes it's as simple as patting yourself on the back rather than waiting for someone to beat you in the head with a bat.
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